Pop

An ode to pop culture


Snap, crackle, pop –
That’s finger lickin’ good,
Because it melts in your mouth,
Not in your hands.

Not to be confused with the
Happiest place on Earth.
It’s like a virgin because
Once you pop, you can’t stop.

The best part of waking up?
Doughnuts. They’re great,
But something’s missing - Got milk?

Your face - is teenage wasteland.
Don’t have a cow, but you’re fired,
Because I did not have sexual relations
With that woman. Gosh!

You’ll find me where everyone knows your name.
So go ahead and hit me baby, one more time.
Eat your heart out, because I’m lovin’ it.

And I love you like a fat kid loves cake,
But not as much as I love rock and roll.
That’s what she said, but just do it!
Double your pleasure.

Can you hear me now?
Tell me about it, stud.
Sure, that’s hot, but that is not
My dick in a box. As if!




Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman