Danny 2

I'm still not sold on this story, especially not this chapter. But I figured it's been awhile since I've posted any of my actual writing, so here is chapter 2 of Danny's story - and you'll just have to deal with mistakes, developing plots, and early editing. I'm not ready to post chapters of other stories yet - sorry. But don't worry, very soon I'll have some sort stories and poetry to post. So for now, just enjoy Danny and his girl problems.

To read the intro, see it here.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Airports and airplanes. I hated them. They required patience and waiting, two things I loathed. Was loathing too harsh a word to describe such common day conveniences and miracles such as flying through the air? No, not in my book.

It was hard saying goodbye to my parents. We had always been close, and not having them around was going to be strange. Knowing I wasn’t going to see them again until Christmas didn’t seem real. My dad, who I liked to describe as a hippie in a scholar’s clothing with glasses, was not just my dad, but also a close friend. When he gave me advice, I took it to heart. My mom, with her light hair and bright eyes, was such a sweet, funny, and all around genuine person. They complimented one another well, and I sometimes wondered how it is that they produced a son like me. It wasn’t that I was so much different than them, but neither of them were athletic like me or cared much for sports. Causes – sustainable living, saving the oceans, promoting organic farming and fresh foods – that’s what they were passionate about. Sustainable architecture was my dad’s specialty, and my mom was always writing letters to congress or local representatives, attending town meetings, passing out fliers and holding fundraisers. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the future of our planet, or the fate of the whales, but as a teenager full of energy, the world’s problems were too much to take on at the moment.

I take after my dad in the sense that I hate sitting still. He’s always running around doing things in the same way that I’m always risking my neck to try a new trick or master a skill. So having to sit in the same seat, next to strangers in tight quarters for hours was not my ideal method of transportation. When teleportation was finally perfected, I would definitely be all over that.

Amanda was waiting for me in the baggage claim area when I finally arrived. When she saw me, she shrieked with delight and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist as she did. I dropped my bags and returned her embrace. People standing nearby were touched, thinking we were young lovers reunited at last. It was actually quite amusing that they thought so. Amusing and absolutely appalling.

“Holy hell, Danny!” she exclaimed when she finally let me breath. “What did you do to yourself? I hardly recognized you.”

That was a lie. I knew Amanda would always recognize me. But since I had last seen her over winter break, my hair had been bleached blond and now my dark roots were showing, my lip had been pierced, ears had been gauged, and I had probably gained another ten pounds of muscle on my six-foot two-inch frame.

I shrugged. She grabbed my bicep.

“And you keep getting bigger! You’re not so scrawny anymore.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I had always, minus the past few years, resembled a twig. “I’ve been doing a lot of strength training, and eating a hell of a lot. They want me all big and hardy for hockey so I don’t break, or get smashed.”

“Daniel Wilde, if I might say so, you are starting to resemble a real man.”

I laughed again. “Thanks. I think.”

She shook her head. “All the girls are going to go crazy for you. When did my cousin – the brother I never had – turn out to be such a good-looking guy?”

“I’ve always been good-looking. I can’t help it if you’re just now starting to appreciate it.”

She laughed. “Gross.”

The drive to Amanda’s house did not take as long as it could have with surprisingly little traffic. She told me that Uncle Al was at work and that Aunt Gwen was working at the vitamin store she owned in town.

“My mom wants us to stop by and say hi. Can you believe she makes me work there two days a week now?”

I grinned. “You can’t be a beach bum forever.”

“Why not?”

I laughed.

“Do you know how boring vitamins and supplements and herbs are?”

“Don’t you take, like a million of them a day?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, but eating them and selling them are two completely different things. Hey, I know you had a job back home. You are more then welcome to take my shifts.”

“Hmm, no thanks.”

“The offer remains open if you ever change your mind.”

“That’s okay, I wouldn’t want to step all over your territory.”

She laughed.

“Oh, by the way, Ryan wanted me to tell you he’s looking forward to winter break.”

She laughed again. “Oh, yeah! I love Ryan. He’s such a strange, interesting guy. Do you know what one of his comments said about one of my pictures?” she asked, referring to Facebook.

“Oh yeah, and I nearly kicked the crap out of him for it. You shouldn’t have those kinds of pictures on the Internet anyway.”

“I was in a bikini! I’m always in a bikini. Besides, my profile is set to private. Only my friends can see my pictures.”

“And you accept everyone’s friend request. I wonder how many are actually creepy old men.”

She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, it really pissed Todd off. Does Ryan know about Todd?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, how could he not? Your profile picture is of you kissing his cheek. Disgusting, by the way.”

Amanda smiled.

I hated to admit it, but Amanda was a girl many guys could find attractive. With her long dark hair she parted far to one side, and her tanned skin from spending hours on the beach, she resembled an Egyptian goddess. Her winter visits to New England had allowed her and Ryan to grow close. I knew he had a thing for her, and he knew I didn’t approve.

“Oh, by the way, I didn’t tell anyone you were coming.”

I sighed with frustration. Of course she wouldn’t.

“Well, that’s not true. I said you were coming, but didn’t say when exactly, and I didn’t say you were staying for the year.”

“Thanks, Maddy,” I mumbled. “As if I wasn’t already looking for ways to avoid hanging out with you.”

Unfortunately for me, Amanda loved surprises. I wasn’t looking forward to being the center of such a large surprise. Of course I loved being in the spotlight when it came to skateboarding or snowboarding, but this was different. It was like I was a pawn in her little game. She was going to exhaust me to death before school even started, I knew it.

“And with your new do, piercings, and muscles, you will hardly be recognizable. This is going to be fun!”

She was probably right about that. I hadn’t seen my old friends in almost two years. The Internet and cell phones made it easier to keep in touch, but I hardly used sites like Facebook, let alone bother to upload new pictures of me. The majority of them were of me flying through the air on a board anyway, not like anyone could see much of what I actually looked like. And that picture of me and Hanna at that ridiculous dance was uploaded onto Hanna’s page, not mine. As far as I knew, Amanda was the only one from the West Coast who was friends with her online.

After we stopped by Vitamins, Please, and Aunt Gwen had gotten all of the squeals and death-grip hugs out of her system, Amanda and I headed to the house.

I stood in the front yard for an extended moment, gazing at the house, the house I had once lived in, and then finally, the house where Natalie used to reside.

This did not seem real. Reality had not set in. It did not feel like I was once again going to be living in this place with these people.

Two years in a teenager’s life could feel like an eternity. How would I feel when the time would come for me to finally gaze upon Natalie’s flesh again? The last time I had seen her we had been trying to run away together. Would those feelings return? As far as I could tell, they were absent now, but maybe they could be switched on just as quickly as a light. How would she look? Would we embrace? Would her hair still smell the same?

I shook the thoughts from my head and replaced them with frustration. The curiosity was getting the best of me. I shouldn’t care. I didn’t care.

Amanda had to run some errands for her mom. I didn’t feel much like tagging along. Instead, I made my way to the beach I hadn’t seen in years. The air was warmer than I remembered, and I immediately regretted wearing my jeans and two layers of t-shirts. The sand, water, and sidewalks were clustered with people. I sat down on top of the little cement wall that stood between the sidewalk and sand and watched the scene before me, playing out more like a movie then real life. I hadn’t been back since before Brandon died. Everything was exactly how I remembered it, exactly how I had left things, but it was still oddly different. The sand had been trampled by feet other than my own and the waves crashing onto the shore were strangers. I had not been around to watch these things change. And neither had he. Though I did not think about Brandon as much as I had right after the accident, I still thought about him often enough, and about all of the unanswered questions. It was strange being here, knowing he had spent his last days of life on this beach.

I didn’t want to think about this right now. It was too much. Too weird. So I concentrated on the individuals around me, and not the ghosts in my head. It was easy to tell that a big portion of those populating the sand and streets were tourists. Though it had been a long time since I had sat with my friends as we pointed them out to one another, it was still easy to tell they had wandered over from the nearby hotels.

If I were back home, Ryan and our other friends would be planning some kind of event or trip to end the summer with. Last summer, we had gone on a weekend road trip to a skateboarding competition. To my delight, and Ryan’s dismay, I ranked fourth in the individual competition – Ryan had ranked fifteenth.

I almost stood and moved along to a new scene when I saw her. As soon as she caught my eye, my body froze against my will. She was wearing an orange bikini top and a pair of cutoffs, fraying at the ends high up on her thighs. Her golden brown hair hung straight and glistened under the sun. It was so long and sleek, nearly reaching her waist. Her tan skin was free from makeup and flaws. Pictures, and my memories, had done her little justice. She was even more beautiful than I had remembered.

As she laughed and ran through the sand, the beaded piece of jewelry on her ankle caught my eye. It was the same one I had given her years before.

It was then that I noticed who she was with. Damon had been one of my best friends. He still looked almost exactly the same as the last time I had seen him, except he had grown taller and let his light hair, bleached by the sun, grow to his chin.

I was a good distance away from him, and there were so many people around that I did not fear them seeing me and spoiling Amanda’s absurd surprise. It wasn’t that I cared so much about spoiling her event, but I knew if it were to happen, she’d be pissed at me for days. And that was an experience I would rather avoid.

The longer I watched them, the more I understood. The affection they had towards one another was crystal clear. As Damon pulled her close, I stood and turned away. The first thing I felt was anger, and then betrayal. Why was she with Damon? How could she just prance around and kiss him so openly in public?

I stole one last glance at her. To my shock, her eyes were on me. Quickly, I turned and made a hasty retreat back towards the house. As I walked, the unjustified hurt and anger I had felt subsided. It was good that she was with someone that made her happy. Who the hell was I to judge? Why did I even care? As far as I was concerned, we were only friends and would remain so. Now that I knew she had a boyfriend, it was all the more clear.

So there was the answer to my stupid question. Seeing Natalie again brought upon a wave of thoughts and feelings that did not make sense, and were hardly justified. This only made me more sure that her being with someone else was best. I couldn’t give into that kind of obsession again, those feelings that crushed everything else and left me scared, unsure, and panicked. I had been young and stupid then. But now I was older, and if not at least a little bit wiser. I wasn’t going to get that caught up on a girl again. What good would come of it?

What I needed to do was focus on what I wanted to do with the next few years of my life and how my actions now could make or break me. Since I was on the West Coast, the birthplace of skateboarding, non-sponsored competitions would be more frequent than on the East. If I did well, I could get noticed and be picked up by a sponsor.

Or what about snowboarding? Some of the best slopes are located on the West. I could easily move up north and devote my time to school and boarding, finding a coach, and working towards the Olympics

And then there’s hockey. My coach had already set me up with a league close by. I could try out for a minor league team, or get an athletic scholarship and play on the East.

Maybe I wanted to try my hand at competitive surfing. I was now living in the right place to do it.

Or maybe I wanted to do something else, like take up coaching, or just focus on college and play sports for recreational fun, not competition.

The point I was trying to make to myself was that there were numerous possibilities. Obsessing over a girl would only limit my focus. At this point of my life, when I still had so much potential, distractions needed to be few, and limited to necessities.

By the time I got back to the house, my mind and chest were at ease. Amanda was still gone, and with the house empty, I suddenly felt the three-hour time difference and the exhaustion of a day full of traveling. I found my bedroom, the guest room and office that was now my permanent dwelling on the first floor, and collapsed on the queen-sized bed. Sleep came quickly.

As I was always on the go, good nights of sleep were far and few between. So when I woke up and realized that the sun was rising, I was shocked. Had I really slept ten hours? I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept so much in one night. It was actually quite refreshing to know that I did not have a day full of plans. I actually had no idea what I was doing that day. How strange that was! Strange and relieving. I could actually sit around in my pajamas if I wanted to, or spend the day on the beach like old times. There were no scheduled practices, workouts, games, scrimmages, competitions, or even planned events with friends, like concerts, camping, getting food, etc. There was nothing. My day was open, and I could let life go free and take its own course, instead of deciding for it what would happen.

Because I had fallen asleep early, my stomach was angry and demanded that I feed it. The house was still lifeless, so I grabbed some cereal and sat out on the front porch. As I sat, I could hear the ocean, just blocks away. I realized then just how privileged my life was. How many people would kill to be able to sit on their front porch and eat cereal while they listened to the ocean? And I was upset about it because I had to leave my equally privileged life on the other side of the country.

God, I’m an ass.

Sure, I had been excited to see the ocean again, Amanda, and be able to spend my days without careful planning, but if I had the choice, I would go back in a flash. I would fly back tomorrow.

Because it was ridiculously early and others would not be up for hours, I decided to start unpacking my few boxes and suitcases. Maybe if I had some of my things out where I could see them, I’d feel more at ease and less like a visitor.

I was surprised when Amanda stumbled into my room much sooner than I had expected. I knew waking up early was not normal behavior for her, at least not during the summer.

“Hey,” I said as she plopped down on my bed. “What are you doing up so early?”

She grunted. “I guess I was excited.”

“Why?” I joked.

She was quiet for a moment, still adjusting to being awake. “I’m excited to show you off, and start school with you. And I’m excited to live with you, though I hope I don’t grow sick or annoyed with you before I really get to enjoy it.”

I grinned. “I feel the same.” I only half meant it, though. I wasn’t looking forward to starting a new school my senior year, or being shown off like a prize.

She watched me for a moment. “Why did you get your lip pierced?”

“Just felt like it, I guess.”

“Do you want more?”

“Probably not. It’d be annoying having to take them all out when I play hockey, or something. Wouldn’t want them to get ripped out.”

She made a face. “Thanks for the lovely imagine in my head.”

I laughed. “I’ve seen it happen.”

“Eww! And I hope the holes in your ears don’t get any bigger. I think it’s disgusting when people stretch out their ears to the point where they can balance a golf ball in them.”

I grinned and shook my head. “No, I think I’m good where I am. If I take the plugs out, I’d want them to shrink. Once you get to a certain point, the holes won’t shrink and you’d have to have plastic surgery to close them. I don’t want that. Too much hassle.”

Amanda shuddered. “The only plastic surgery I’d want is a boob job. Maybe a tummy tuck.”

I looked at her, appalled and disgusted. She spoke before I could respond.

“I’m only kidding! I could never get a breast implants. That kind of thing creeps me out.”

“Thank god you’re not that shallow.”

She glared at me for a moment, and then looked around the room. “Alright, let me help you with this place.”

I had no objections. Besides, I knew Amanda liked doing the interior design thing, and I didn’t care that much how the furniture or my few belongings were arranged.

We stayed in all day. It was the laziest day I had experienced in a very long time. I didn’t even shower until late in the afternoon. After I had thrown on some pants and tossed the towel in the corner of the room, I pulled out my laptop and sat down on the bed. Before I got a chance to do anything else, Amanda burst through the door.

“Dear god, Danny,” she blurted, shocked and nearly appalled by my shirtless physique. “You have a lock on the door, you know.”

I sighed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was a crime.”

She glared at my skin. “Where did those abs come from?”

“Okay, this is strange, you pointing out things like my biceps and abs.”

Amanda went to the dresser my clothes had recently been put in and searched through the drawers. “I’m just saying. You are going to break some girl’s heart.”

“Because of my abs?”

“Guys like you break hearts, not mend them.”

“What does that even mean? You know I’m not some jerk that just sleeps around. I could, but I don’t.”

She looked over at me for a moment. “You better not be that kind of ass. Maybe you’re not used to female attention, but we’ll see what happens when the girls here start throwing themselves at you.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I guess we will see.”

A shirt landed on my face. I slowly pulled it over my head and looked down at the logo of my favorite band across the chest.

“We’re going for pizza,” Amanda said.

I sighed. There went my perfectly lazy day. And then I thought of something. “Why?”

She shrugged. “No reason. Pizza and pinball just sounds good.”

The popular pizza joint in town contained a large selection of pinball machines, both new and retro. I hadn’t played pinball since the last time I was in town. I had to admit, it did sound fun. And I could always go for pizza.

“So,” I began, feeling a little stupid bringing it up. “I saw Natalie yesterday, with Damon.”

Her eyes bore into mine. “That’s why she wouldn’t stop calling me!”

“They didn’t see me.”

The hardness in her glare softened as she realized what I had said. “Yeah. Well, they’ve been dating for a long time. I wanna say six, seven months?”

I didn’t say anything. Hearing that they had been together for that long didn’t upset me. It only proved that they were happy.

When we walked through the door to The Tilt and I saw the large group of teenagers in the back of the restaurant, I suddenly felt nervous and swore under my breath. Amanda laughed softly at my reaction and took my arm, nearly dragging me along. As we neared the table, she left my side and hurried over to the group.

“Hey!” she beamed.

I had stopped walking and scratched my head as I contemplated turning and bolting back out that front door. I wasn’t ready for this kind of attention. I didn’t want it to be real.

As I debated if I should continue in Amanda’s footsteps, or back away, Natalie’s eyes caught mine. She was locked on me with wide, fearful eyes, like I was a ghost and her worst fears had just been confirmed.

“There you are,” Todd said as he stood to meet Amanda. “Where the hell have you been?”

He was a lot taller than I had remembered, but still skinny as hell. Though he had been one of my close friends, he was never one of my favorites. And I didn’t like how he addressed Amanda. I only half noticed, though, because Natalie’s lock on me was overly distracting.

Todd glanced over at me like I was no one, and then he did a double take. “Who the hell is this?” He continued to eye me, sizing me up. I recognized this kind of look all too well. I had already done the same to him, and I was not impressed.

With Todd’s remark, everyone at the table turned towards me. That’s when Damon, attached to Natalie’s side, noticed how she stared at me, like she was afraid. He stood up and placed his hand protectively on her shoulder as he glared at me.

I could not help but grin. This reaction was not the one I had been imagining. Wouldn’t that be an interesting reunion if we all started fighting?

Amanda wrapped her arms around Todd’s neck and quickly kissed him. I cringed at the sight. Seeing her, the sister I never had, kiss guys was a sight I didn’t think I could ever get used to.

“Oh, calm down,” she said to him. She looked to the rest of the group. “What kind of welcome is this? Are you all just gonna stare, or are you actually gonna say hi to my cousin, the one and only Daniel Wilde?”

At being exposed, I automatically advanced towards the table like an invisible lasso had been thrown around me and was forcing me to move.

Damon’s expressions changed instantly and he smiled. “Well damn, Danny. I hardly recognized you. It’s about time you paid a visit. How the hell are you?”

“Hey, Damon,” I greeted. I had always like Damon. He was a good-humored guy who, when not wanting to beat me up, always seemed to have a smile and a joke to tell.

Todd stared at me cautiously, like he did not trust or believe me. I slapped him hard across his back.

“Hey, Todd. Good to see you.”

He cringed lightly at the sting. “Yeah, hey, Danny. You too.”

I moved to the head of the table. Of all the faces, there were only two girls I did not recognize. The others were of ones I had known quite well. All my old friends, excluding one, were seated at this table.

Chills ran up my arms. I hadn’t been together with this group since Brandon’s accident. It felt wrong, and my stomach twisted in little knots. I couldn’t look at them all without seeing his face in the background.

Everyone I knew, excluding Natalie and Todd, seemed to pounce on me – Damon, Zach, Cameron, and even Amanda. I was then introduced to Courtney and Paige, and was pushed towards a chair at the center of the table. Damon and Cameron sat on both sides of me and everyone else then sat down accordingly. The boys were on one side, and the girls on the other.

I still felt uncomfortable about being there, with these people again, especially without Brandon, but there was something else distracting me. Though Natalie sat across from Damon, and had yet to speak a word to me, I could still feel her eyes glued to me. Her reaction to my arrival put me in an awkward state of mind. Was she really that put off that she had to stare at me like that, like I was a threatening vampire, or something? That she couldn’t at least greet me like an old friend? I was surrounded by confusion, and was unable to take the first step and say hello. When our eyes would meet, time would cease to move on until one of us would at last look away. Finally, when our eyes met once more, I smiled. This little gesture seemed to let her eyes relax.

Was I the only one that noticed this strange behavior from her? It seemed that way.

When the pizzas arrived, her attention was drawn away from me. Though I could have probably eaten the majority of one of those pizzas on my own, I could not seem to choke down more then a slice. Once most of the pizza had been devoured, only one and a half limp, greasy slices remaining, Natalie stood from the table and locked on me.

“I’m going to head out for some air,” she announced to the group, though she was looking only at me. She took a deep breath. “Do you want to come with me?”

I quickly looked around, everyone watching us, and agreed. I followed her lead, and we ended up at the beach. It was quiet as we walked. I could not help but think of our silent walk when we were thirteen, when she had confessed her feelings for me.

After an extended period of unspoken walking, Natalie finally spoke.

“I saw you yesterday, didn’t I?”

I looked over at her. She was still focused on the sand in front of us. “Yeah.”

She grinned lightly and shook her head. “I knew it. But when I talked to Amanda, she didn’t say anything, and I thought if you really were here, she would have told me. I thought if it really was you that I’d seen, you would have come over.”

I could tell she was disappointed, and for some reason, I wanted her to understand and forgive my actions more than anything. “Amanda wanted it to be a surprise.”

But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that another reason why I hadn’t approached her was because she had been with Damon.

She laughed once. “Well I know that now.” She looked over at me. “I’m sorry, for how I reacted back there. I’m just surprised to see you.” She stopped walking, and I turned to face her. “Honestly, after you didn’t come back last summer, and I hadn’t heard from you . . . I had accepted that I would never . . . I didn’t think you’d come back.”

I watched her eyes flicker back and forth for a moment. “I’m sorry, Natalie. Things are just so crazy back home.”

“I know, Danny. I could tell by what Amanda said about you, and I could tell from our brief and limited conversations that you’re busy,” she said, a soft bitterness in her voice. “And I’m happy for you. I’ve seen your videos online. I can’t believe the kind of stuff you do, skateboarding and snowboarding, and I hear you’re quite the hockey player. I’m happy you’ve found things you really love. But when Amanda suddenly said you were actually coming back this summer, I was shocked. And then I stopped expecting you to actually show up. I just thought that . . . maybe you . . .” She hesitated, and then changed her mind. “You know, you look different.”

I did not push her for an explanation – I was not sure I wanted to get into that topic this soon, if ever.

I grinned. “Oh yeah?”

She looked over at me and smiled. “Yeah, but in a good way. You look the same though, too. I can still see that fifteen year old in you.”

“Well, to be honest, you look better in my memories.”

Her eyes narrowed, unsure.

“I’m kidding.”

She laughed.

“You’ve really grown into a beautiful young woman,” I admitted.

She held her breath and quickly turned away, but then settled down into the sand. I joined her, and silently we began piling sand into a heap to mold into a sandcastle.

“You missed the whole summer,” she said, not looking away from the task before her. “So how long are you staying, then? A few weeks?”

I stopped shoveling sand and took a deep breath. I had mixed feelings about telling her of my new situation and living arrangement.

“The whole year, actually.”

Her hands froze and her head jerked up as she locked on me, her eyes wide. “Seriously?”

I lowered my eyes. “Yeah.”

“Why?” she demanded.

Her tone startled me. I could tell that she was bordering between fear and happiness over the news of my permanent stay. So I told her the story, how my parents were going overseas and I had no other options but to come here.

We sat staring at one another for a moment. I don't know what she was thinking or feeling, but sitting there like that made my heart beat faster and made it seem like there was no one or anything else in the world but us. Nothing else seemed to matter.

I hurriedly shook the thoughts from my head and continued shoving sand into the area I had been working on.

“Danny,” she said after a moment. I looked up. “I’m glad that you’re here.”

I had the aching urge to reach out and touch her, to wrap my arms around her and embrace, but I was afraid to give in. I was afraid that the moment we touched, all the progress I had made would be flushed down the toilet and I would only want her, that she would be my only focus.

“Thanks,” was all I could say.

We continued with our castle, and talked of more simple things. She asked me about life back home, and I told her all she wanted to know. She asked about my friends, school, sports, and jobs, and she in turn told me about her own life, and how she had moved after the newest addition of her family had been born. Natalie was the oldest in a family of five children. Her parents had Natalie at a young age – her mother was only seventeen – and they put off having more kids for years. At seventeen, Natalie was the big sister of an eleven-year-old brother, six-year-old twin sisters, and another one and a half year old brother. Because her family was large, and she was the oldest, Natalie naturally helped with taking care of the younger kids. But her parents also tried to give Natalie the freedom any teenager needed, though she had always insisted she did not mind. She never complained, not when she had to miss out on outings with friends or other events, and I think that was a quality I really admired about her.

Though we gave one another the details of our lives apart, we did not talk about boyfriends or girlfriends. She did not mention Damon once, and though I didn’t want to admit it, I was glad.

By the time I got back to the house, the sky hard grown much darker. Amanda was sprawled out on the couch when I came through the door.

“Well, it’s about time!” she said when I came in, sitting up. “I thought maybe you and Natalie had ran off together.”

I glared at her, and then headed towards my new room. Amanda followed.

“Not funny?”

“We just talked.”

“I know,” she insisted. “We all knew. That’s the thing, Danny. When it comes to you and Nat . . .”

“What?” I snapped. “You all know what?”

She sighed with disappointment.

“She has a boyfriend.”

She continued to watch me, and I knew she was evaluating my mood and feelings, understanding far more than I ever could. “You’re right,” she said, and left it at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the summer carried on easily. The weeks passed by slowly. At first, I saw not being so busy as a welcomed break. But as time went on, I started to grow restless. I got in touch with the beach and ocean again, the unique atmosphere of the town, and the constant sunshine, but I was still uneasy. There was still something off. I didn’t know if it was because of Natalie, or Brandon, but I chose to address nothing. And to keep distracted, like I knew how to do so well, I ended up spending a big portion of my time at the skate park in the neighboring town. Cameron would often join me, and we sometimes would be able to get Zach and Damon to come along, too. But it was harder to get them to do anything. They were, after all, the epitome of beach bums. Todd was a lost cause, and I had stopped trying to get him to do anything, not that I had ever really tried that hard. I seriously couldn’t see what Amanda saw in him. He literally did nothing but surf and smoke pot. And I didn’t know why he didn’t trust me so much. What had I ever done to him? At least Damon, who also enjoyed surfing and smoking pot, got around to doing other things, and from what I could tell, treated Natalie quite well.

When I was not skating, though, I would hang out with my old friends when that’s what everyone else wanted to do. As a result, I got to know Paige and Courtney. Paige was a shy, but sweet girl. She always had a smile on her face and had dark curly hair. As for Courtney, well, Courtney was something else. I had grown attracted to her immediately, not only because of her perfectly athletic body, blonde hair, and blue eyes, but because of her bold and carefree personality. She said exactly what was on her mind and had no regrets. I could see how some people saw that as offensive, but I didn’t mind. I never knew anyone quite like her. After she found out about my interests in skateboarding and snowboarding, and my desire to be a better surfer, we hung out more often. She was actually quite the little athlete. I had never known a girl to be interested in the same physical activities as me. To my surprise, Courtney also knew quite a bit about hockey, lacrosse, and football.

It had never been my plan to date Courtney. I enjoyed being around her, but I still wasn’t looking to go out with anyone. My head was still jumbled from moving and seeing Natalie again, for feeling things I did not want to feel, and I had no idea how to deal with them. Even aside from that, once I got completely settled and used to living on the West again, I still fully planned on submerging myself back into my comfortable world of competitions. Knowing that, I did not want to date anyone.

The weekend before school started, that perspective changed. To celebrate the start of the school year, or rather, to mourn the loss of summer, a large bonfire had been built on the beach, and all the high school kids in town gathered for a big party. I had been sitting in the sand with Courtney.

“So, when are you going to start playing hockey again?” she asked.

I looked out to the sea and how the setting sun seemed to dance on top of it. “Soon.”

“Maybe you could show me a thing or two? I’ve never been on ice.”

I grinned. “Just name the time and place.”

She reached out then and put her hand against my neck. When I turned towards her, she leaned in and kissed me. It totally caught me by surprise. No girl had ever been this forward with me before. It was strange because I knew so many people were around and could see us, possibly even Natalie. Though I had not necessarily wanted her to kiss me, I was left satisfied and other thoughts were pushed from my head, as well as the warning bells.

“I love piercings,” she whispered. She grabbed my hand and stood up. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

I had no objections, and did not see the eyes following after us. Or at least just chose to ignore them.

Things with Courtney were different. She was not like other girls I had dated. It was never romantic with her, just fun. I don't even think there were strong feelings, just attraction. I never even called her my girlfriend. Many people saw that differently though, and did call her my girlfriend, even Courtney. I knew it wasn't the best thing to do, but at the time, I didn't care. I was still upset over leaving my home and parents. How was I supposed to feel about everything? I sure as hell didn't know. Whatever deep, confusing, upsetting feelings that were inside were things I did not want to deal with. Being with Courtney, a person only out for fun, made everything else vanish from my head.

Amanda finally confronted me. “Do you remember what I said that day I picked you up from the airport.”

“Hu?”

“I told you to beware of girls suddenly throwing themselves at you, remember?”

I groaned. Was she really going to have a girl talk with me?

“What are you doing with Courtney?”

“Nothing horrible. How is me dating her acting like a jerk? I’m not dating other girls, too.”

Amanda sighed. “No,” she said slowly, “but come on. You’re in denial.”

“About what?”

“Come on, I know you still have feelings for Natalie.”

“What? No, I don’t.”

“I like Courtney how I like all of my other friends, but I know her better than you do. I know how she dates. She likes you so much because you’re so new. She wants you so bad because she knows about you and Nat.”

“What’s there to know?” I demanded.

Amanda sighed with frustration. “You know that Nat’s genuinely a good person. Everyone does, even Courtney. Courtney’s like the opposite of her, and how Courtney is, she’s always secretly at war with her, it’s just that Natalie doesn’t know it. That’s why she’s with you. I just can’t understand why you’re with her.”

Anger stewed inside me. “Leave it alone, Amanda. I mean it.”

"Danny, I'm serious.”

“So am I! Did it ever occur to you that we just have a lot in common?”

“Danny, stop being a moron. Do you see what you're doing? Because everyone else can. Everyone but you. Wake up."

I didn’t know what the hell it was she was talking about, though if I would of thought about it, I probably could have figured it out.